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The Silence

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They say I am too silent, because I am a chatterbox and have no words today. I am not angry, sad, or ill; it makes no sense for those conclusions. I have nothing to gain from not expressing what is truly happening to me. It is just a situation where I do not have much more to share. I am all talked out.  

Have you ever gotten to the point where your need for silence is way beyond your need for anything else? Have you ever felt like you keep talking, but they are listening but not truly understanding? Why do we continue to have conversations with people who hear our words but barely understands the concept? 

Don’t you think it is better to leave it all behind you until your words at least bring some results? I grew up with the notion to explain why I am doing things the way I am. Often confused still because while it was also a culture of explanation, it would ironically be a culture of where the silence was deafening. It was also a perception of the child would not have much real opinion but following direction. It was very challenging for me, the child who always of something to share. 

I am learning to balance the silence with the engagement because my daughter needs that. Has an introvert child, I felt like I am continually forcing her opinion at one point in her life, but now the tables have turned, and I cannot get her to stop talking.  

It is now teen years compounded with the DNA of a mom who is a chatterbox.  When she is silent, I am checking to see if she is okay, but ironically she will be on the phone or computers with her friend 25 hours a day (yup, it said it 25), but with me, it is more silence.  

Is it not funny how the same concerns my family had are the ones that I am now managing in my adult life with my sweet child. I am learning to trust the silence and listen with great feedback, and it’s a great process. I continue to probe, and I am a parent.  You should try this with your children or love ones. 

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